in a  moment of radical lucidity, i received a series of profound messages. the first message came in these words: "you must suspend all agreements or you will die". and then again, "you must suspend all agreements or you will die".

“as I begin to identify my true “self” as one with the force of all creation, I am faced with the inevitability of embracing everything I’m opposed to, including all atrocities, as a part of myself.” – c.s.

for the most part, the human condition is a lonely one. and though we are social beings by nature, we are also spiritual orphans, abandoned by god, and left longing for the comfort of deep familial connectedness.

I want to slide with you like two salamanders slipping in a muddy pool to feel cool water on your warm skin

on any given day I am all too seen in the play of my familiar world

whatever protects me from being seen protects me from seeing so there is no protection at all in this place of hiding I grope, half blind, through the world of the wounded I fear my woundedness but even more, I fear my blindness

I don’t TRY anymore I just kind of HAPPEN and I don’t WRITE this it just happens THROUGH me and I’M not the one who LOVES you “I” am WAY too small for that love just HAPPENS in YOUR presence through ME

through the gift of loneliness, you lead me to love through the gift of suffering, you teach me compassion through the gift of my anger, you bring me peace through the gift of judgment, you show me equanimity

the rush of cars, images of mars pale face on a subway train, hushed in a no-smoking lane clinging…to this mortal coil, as fires churn the plumes of oil

health food is supposed to be good for me like regular exercise regular sleep and regular bowels